​You need to be more stoic. That was Mrs L’s verdict after she heard my final musings on the Xhaka saga. It may seem resolved, but it has stirred dark, negative thoughts I don’t like. Mrs L might be right then. I need to be more “stoic.” But what does that actually mean, and what must I change to survive the pre-season, never mind next season and Europe? I wasn’t sure what “stoic” really meant beyond “get a grip.” So, to be prepared, I did what any self-respecting obsessive would do: I looked it up. Timely, too, since England’s World Cup run is stressing me out, not to mention Sunderland’s situation.
Stoicism is a 2,000-year-old philosophy shaped by Marcus Aurelius (who sounds like an Italian footballer), Epictetus (which sounds like a medical complaint), and Seneca (which sounds like a remedy for constipation). Funny names, sure, but evidently great thinkers. At its core, Stoicism is simple enough for me to grasp: focus on what you can control, accept what you cannot, and don’t let the rest own you.
Then an uncomfortable thought hit me. Have I, and my fellow Sunderland supporters, been Stoics all along? I dug deeper and distilled the core principles into five points. After Chelsea circled like vultures, luring our captain with unscrupulous bravado, I’m now on high alert. I’m checking Facebook and X every few minutes for the latest updates and opinions, hoping nothing else unsettles me. And it’s not helping my sanity.
Am I spending too much emotional energy on things I can’t influence? Yes. Of course I am. So I turned to Stoicism for guidance and found the “new Stoic” in me whispering, “Que sera, sera. Stop it. Step away. Let it go.” I reminded myself that I cannot control these things. What I can control is my reaction and my effort to improve. Some solid Stoic teaching there.
It’s easier said than done, but I’ll keep trying. Sunderland can’t always shape the football market the way they’d like, especially if the right offer comes at the wrong time—no club can. What they can do is control their response. So far, I think they’ve done it well: calm, unpanicked, and robust. I’m proud of their stance with Chelsea. No theatrics. Just a clear statement. It will set how other clubs approach us, hopefully with more respect. It will also send a message to our players that they’re part of a “big” club that takes no nonsense. A Stoic would approve of the club’s strong character. Sometimes dignity is louder than noise.